Sunday
Proverbs 16:9 and Psalm 25:5
I came out as gay when I was 19 years old, a sophomore in college. Coming to terms with my sexuality was incredibly difficult, for both cultural and religious reasons. Like many, I turned to prayer to help turn me away from this “sinful” lifestyle.
St. Jude, patron saint of hopeless and desperate cases, was always my favorite saint, so I obviously turned to him for intercession. I spent countless days with lit St. Jude candles, praying to him, pleading to be cured. I realized, after a long while, that my prayers were not being answered, so I changed my tactic. Rather than asking for change, I began praying for signs: “If this is sinful, show me…”; “If this is normal, show me…” Again, no answer. And definitely no signs. At least no outward signs.
At some point I stopped praying to be cured. I did, however, continue lighting my St. Jude candles. Very soon afterward, when I stopped overthinking my situation and I really stopped to listen, my heart lightened and my eyes opened. It was then that I felt God and realized He was with me the entire time. He was simply guiding me, ever so patiently and lovingly, to this point of self-realization that being gay was who I was; who I am. I know now, just like I began to realize at that point, that God made me in his image and that he loved me, unconditionally.
Daniel Borrega
Proverbs 16:9 and Psalm 25:5
I came out as gay when I was 19 years old, a sophomore in college. Coming to terms with my sexuality was incredibly difficult, for both cultural and religious reasons. Like many, I turned to prayer to help turn me away from this “sinful” lifestyle.
St. Jude, patron saint of hopeless and desperate cases, was always my favorite saint, so I obviously turned to him for intercession. I spent countless days with lit St. Jude candles, praying to him, pleading to be cured. I realized, after a long while, that my prayers were not being answered, so I changed my tactic. Rather than asking for change, I began praying for signs: “If this is sinful, show me…”; “If this is normal, show me…” Again, no answer. And definitely no signs. At least no outward signs.
At some point I stopped praying to be cured. I did, however, continue lighting my St. Jude candles. Very soon afterward, when I stopped overthinking my situation and I really stopped to listen, my heart lightened and my eyes opened. It was then that I felt God and realized He was with me the entire time. He was simply guiding me, ever so patiently and lovingly, to this point of self-realization that being gay was who I was; who I am. I know now, just like I began to realize at that point, that God made me in his image and that he loved me, unconditionally.
Daniel Borrega
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