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Sermon: 5th Sunday in Easter

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Sermon: 5th Sunday in Easter: Year A April 20, 2008
John 14:1-14: Troubled Hearts

Passages such as our Gospel reading this morning are challenging to read and understand and, tough to explain. They feel theological and heady, repeating phrases like “coming and going, believing and knowing” There is not much action or drama, except for the questions from Peter and Philip.

The setting for our text is Maundy Thursday, the last meal before Jesus’ crucifixion. In the verse immediately preceding, Peter has just been warned that he will deny Jesus three times before the cock crows. The Gospel then shifts into what is often called the Final Discourse in which Jesus instructs his disciples about how they are to live in this world when he has departed.

Our reading is bracketed by two commands from Jesus. Beginning with: Do not let your hearts be troubled. And ending with If, in my name you ask me for anything, I will do it. In between these sentences, in words that sound like a farewell speech, Jesus announces his imminent departure. He urges those present to be like him and to do works greater than he has done. He tells the disciples that their encounter with him, Jesus the Son, makes it possible for them to have an experience in God, as the Father.

Don’t let your hearts be troubled. The Greek word used for trouble is (tarasso) tarassw a word used to describe Jesus’ distress when Mary approached him weeping over the death of her brother, Lazarus. The meaning of this word is not simply sadness. It is a profound disturbance in the face of the power of death and evil. It addresses the complexity and confusion of the disciples who were troubled at the departure of Jesus. Jesus is not just telling his disciples to buck up in the face of his death: he is telling them that the events that are about to occur may look as if they are rising out of evil and death. The disciples need to stand firm in the face of this threat.

I met Alice when I was called to the pre-operative area in the Cardiac Center. She was about to undergo her second cardiac catheterization. The first one had been aborted when she almost died after experiencing an allergic reaction to the dye. A different technique was going to be used this morning and the medical staff was confident that the procedure would be successful. As the time for the procedure approached Alice’s anxiety and distress escalated and the nursing staff requested I visit with Alice.

Alice had three children, was Catholic and divorced. She talked about her concerns and also expressed hopeful confidence in the physicians. It did seem, however, that there was something, just beyond my sight, that was really disturbing her. When the nurse poked her head around the curtain to let us know that they were ready for Alice and that I should leave, Alice, grabbed my hand and through tears pleaded: Please, not yet. I negotiated more time with the nurse and sat down next to Alice, hoping I could she would reveal what was so distressful.
What I learned was at the age of 17 Alice had become pregnant after being raped. She had had an abortion and for the next 30+ years she never told anyone what had happened to her. As I held her hand, Alice looked up at me and sobbed: Do you think God is punishing me now for what I did? Do you think God could ever forgive me?

Troubled hearts. They hurt; they come in all sizes and they are often very well disguised. The death of a loved one, job loss, the onset of a serious illness, the loss of a pet: When there is a sudden and unexpected change in our life- our world turns upside down. Our hearts become troubled.

Our culture sends so many mixed messages about what we should value and desire. Am I not supposed to seek a better life for me and my family or is this somehow selfish ambition? Should I worry about the price of gas and my retirement funds or does that mean that I am being materialistic and somehow callous towards those in this world who live in abject poverty? How do we live in this world as a Christian when there are so many seductive and nice distractions? Conflicting desires-troubled hearts.

We were told just a few weeks ago at the Maundy Thursday service to do as Jesus did and to love one another; yet we get drawn into jealousy and competition with one another. Those grudges we thought we had put behind us, they come to greet us like an old friend. Perhaps we have grown tired of continually forgiving that family member for the same bad behavior. These grudges and our behavior trouble our hearts. How do we follow Jesus’ command to forgive others and ourselves?

We wonder what happened to our faith. There is a very deep worry that we won’t find it or worse-that we have found it and this is all there is and all of us are pretending that this is enough. We are stuck living in our troubled hearts.

One evening when I was about 13, my father went off with a friend to a YMCA Board meeting. A friend of my mothers came to get her so they could also go off as well. As I was clearing the dinner table the phone rang and I heard my mother say: “oh my God”. She sat down, collected herself and then told us that my father had been taken to the hospital. They suspected that he had suffered from a heart attack. Apparently, my father, who was a physician, recognized the symptoms and told his friend to take him to the hospital. After my mother left, the household was very much in an uproar. None of us kids knew what to do. My mother’s friend was surveying the kitchen and noticed that we had had Brussels sprouts for dinner. She looked at us and said, emphatically: Well there you have it. Brussels sprouts cause gas and gas can feel like a heart attack. There’s nothing to worry about.

Not feeling particularly comforted by those words, I went upstairs and found my prayer book. I knelt by my bed, found the prayers for those who are ill and started to pray. Every night while my father was in the hospital I took my troubled heart to my knees and prayed. I grew in awe of the feelings that praying brought to me. My father came home and lived another 35 years. I, however, have never eaten another Brussels sprout.

That morning in the Cardiac Catheterization Suite, Alice’s troubled heart called out in pain. She needed to know that God loved her, no matter what she had done. My heart was troubled out of fear of losing my father. Alice and I each experienced gloom expanding over us: We were in a place that was more than darkness. Alice came face to face with everything about herself that scared her. She was in a place where she was afraid to be alone and, paradoxically, a place where she was afraid to let anyone else in. I was in a darkness that threatened my whole world, my life as I knew it, my identity. We had troubled hearts. Alice and I did the only thing we knew to do at the time when we faced the threat of evil or death. We followed the words of Jesus at the end of today’s reading: If in my name you ask me for anything, I will do it.

When we pray something happens. A door opens, a shaft of light appears. God comes and stands by us in our despair and in our anxiousness, just as God does in our joy and celebrations. God calls out our name: perhaps in such hushed tones that we are forced to quiet our minds to hear, or so loudly that we can make no mistake who is calling us. God waits for our troubled hearts to come and rest in prayer.

Will every prayer be answered? We know it will. Will it be answered the way we want it to? Of course not. But, that is the mystery. God is faithful. We offer our petitions to God for needed forgiveness, healing, sustenance, peace, reconciliation: these are the natural responses of faith to the loving goodness of God. God comes to all of us whether we are good and faithful and attend church every Sunday, or whether we are filled with doubt and stuck in our troubled hearts.

When we extend our hands in prayer to God and ask that the turbulent waters of our lives be calmed: we can feel our burden lighten. When we stretch out our hands to receive the sacraments, we participate in Jesus’ everlasting life through his body and blood; and when we share the peace, we experience Jesus in community.

May we always remember to offer our troubled hearts to God in prayer. May we always remember that through Jesus we find God. May always remember that through one another and community we find Jesus. Amen.